He Was the One
by Nytel
Summary: Kara has to cope with the death of her husband. Warning: This takes a dark turn near the end.


**Warning: This fic takes a very dark turn at the end. Read at your own risk.  
**

**He Was the One**

His death had hit her hard; it had been unexpected. He had been recovering from the pneumonia when the cylons shot him. That was two weeks ago.

Now Kara was on board the Pegasus, acting as the CAG until Stinger recovered from the wounds he had taken during the rescue. She hadn't wanted to go back to the military, but there was nothing else left for her.

She tried to lose herself in the endless paperwork of training schedules and CAP rotations, but it wasn't working. Everything was done, and she was left with too much time on her hands.

It was at times like this, when she was just sitting in her office doing nothing, that the grief would hit her the hardest. One moment she was fine, and the next she was drowning in memories. They were so overwhelming that some times she even forgot to breathe. Kara knew that wasn't good.

The most important thing that Sam had taught her was to not keep everything bottled up inside. For a long time she had thought that was stupid, cliché even, but over the year they had been together Sam had proven her wrong. She had confided in him about everything… and it had helped. Now he was gone.

She knew that she needed to talk to someone about the grief before it caused her to spiral out of control, down a path of self-destruction.

The first people she thought of were Helo and the Old Man, but they were over on Galactica while she was stuck on The Beast. It'd be a few more weeks before things settled down enough for them to allow raptor shuttles for personal reasons, and Kara knew that by then it'd be too late. That left one person. Lee.

Too bad that had the potential to cause more problems than it would solve.

He still blamed her for the failure of his marriage. It wasn't her fault, and she knew that, but it didn't stop him from blaming her. Originally she had let him, thinking that eventually he would realize the truth and his anger would blow over, but she had forgotten how well Lee could hold a grudge.

Still, they had been friends once, good friends. She could remember at least five times since the end of the world when he had, in effect, told her 'If you ever want to talk Kara, I'm here'.

She'd never taken him up on it before. Kara didn't even know if the offer still stood, but she had to try.

* * *

She waited until she knew that he was off duty. Then she went to his quarters and knocked softly on the hatch. After she heard his muffled reply, she opened the hatch and walked in.

It was obvious that he was surprised to see her. However, the shocked look on his face didn't last for long because it was quickly replaced by one of pure loathing.

When he spoke, his voice was low and quiet, but that just made it all the more dangerous. "What do you want?"

She almost lost her nerve, until she remembered that at one time she had been Starbuck… she could do this. "Lee…" she paused to take a deep breath before starting again. "Lee, can we talk?"

She watched as his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You want to _talk_?"

She nodded, feeling truly scared of him for the first time. Unconsciously she wrapped her arm around her midriff.

"What do you want to talk about_ Kara_?" He spat out her name like he couldn't stand the taste of it in his mouth.

She closed her eyes for the briefest of moments, and willed the tears not to fall. Before she even had a chance to respond he was talking again.

"Let's see," he said using a tone of fake sincerity. "We could talk about how you ruined my **life**!" He shouted the last word at her and she actually jumped.

Kara moved to turn around; she couldn't handle this, not now.

"What?" he asked. "Not what you wanted to talk about?"

He was mocking her and the realization caused the tears to start spilling down her cheeks.

"Forget it," she whispered as she turned on her heel and left.

* * *

The next day she saw him for a total of two seconds as they passed in the hallway. The glare that he gave her was startlingly different than his actions of the past two weeks: simply pretending she didn't exist.

When the tears started and the sobs caught in her throat, Kara had to brace herself against the nearby bulkhead. It was then that she knew that she was falling apart, losing control. She needed to get back to Galactica.

Less than three hours later she found herself standing outside of his quarters again, hand poised at the door. She didn't think she was strong enough to do this - she swallowed and knocked – but she had to try.

She entered and found him in the exact same spot as before. Not giving him a chance to react she said, "Sir, I'm requesting a transfer…"

"No." He stared at her harshly. "Was that all Captain? Because I'm too busy to deal with you right now."

"Lee please," she begged, resorting to the only option she had left. "I need to get out of here." The last few words caught in her throat as the emotion welled up.

"I said no."

* * *

She raised the bottle to her lips and downed what was left. It didn't even burn anymore. She heard the bottle fall out of her hand and smash on the floor, but she couldn't remember it slipping.

Her bare feet were heavy as they dropped down off the desk and onto the floor. Looking down she saw red. It took her a few minutes to realize that it was blood from her feet; she must have stepped on the shattered glass.

Somehow she managed to push herself out of the chair and stand up, bracing herself on the desk. She tried walking on unsteady legs, and slippery feet toward the bed. She only made it a few steps before she crashed down onto the floor heavily.

Kara lay there unmoving. She heard a strange noise and then she realized that it was coming from her. Soon sobs were racking her entire body. Even after the tears refused to flow anymore, she lay on the deck heaving.

She was disgusted with herself, at what she had become. Sam would hate her for this. Then she remembered that he was dead. A fresh bout of sobs emerged from her body. He was dead and nothing else mattered.

Kara half-crawled and half-pulled herself toward the nearby locker. She forced herself to stand up. Leaning heavily on it, she somehow managed to pull it open. She nearly fell over as she reached into the bottom. Standing up slowly, she pulled out her gun. She was surprised to notice that the metal felt cold against her hands.

She sank down to the floor and leaned back against the locker door. With shaking hands she checked the chamber. One bullet. It was enough.

Kara turned the safety off and pressed the muzzle against her temple. There was only a brief moment of hesitation. But she couldn't go on like this, there was nothing left for her.

She pulled the trigger.

He was the one to find her body.

The End


End file.
